5 Days of Body Positivity: Day Four


"Your body is not a problem to be solved. It is a vessel to be celebrated. Your sexuality is not a taboo to be hidden. It is a gift to be explored." - Unknown

Body Positivity and Sex

The Story

While in undergraduate school I found myself having A LOT of sex. At first, I had convinced myself that I was celebrating my open sexuality and embracing what it meant to be free and confident in myself. There was one problem though…I kept falling for men who wanted nothing more to do with me than to have sex. Rather than leave, I begged and pleaded for the relationship to turn into something more serious and committed but it never did. Rationally, I knew it would not go anywhere yet I’d still continue to have sex with these individuals because I wanted so deeply to feel loved and cared about. 

As I got older, started therapy, started to value myself, and reflected on my actions, I quickly learned that not only was sex a way for me to feel loved and wanted but because I was plus sized, I felt that was the only thing my body was good for. 

Here I was engaging in SUCH an intimate act yet I felt so disconnected from my body while doing so.

The Problem

Just to provide a little background, lets define exactly what it is we mean by Body Positivity and Healthy Sexuality:

Body positivity is a movement that aims to promote self-love and acceptance of one's body, regardless of its shape, size, or appearance. It encourages people to embrace their bodies and celebrate their uniqueness, rather than comparing themselves to unrealistic beauty standards.

Healthy sexuality, on the other hand, refers to a positive and respectful attitude towards sex and sexuality. It involves understanding and respecting one's own sexual desires and boundaries, as well as those of others. It also involves practicing safe and consensual sex, and avoiding any form of sexual coercion or violence.

Body positivity and healthy sexuality are closely related, as they both involve accepting and celebrating one's body and sexuality. When people feel good about their bodies, they are more likely to have a positive attitude towards sex and sexuality. Conversely, when people have a healthy attitude towards sex and sexuality, they are more likely to feel good about their bodies.

Unfortunately, our society often promotes unrealistic beauty standards and stigmatizes certain body types and sexual behaviors. This can lead to body shaming, low self-esteem, and unhealthy attitudes towards sex and sexuality. 

The Solution

To combat this, it is important to promote body positivity and healthy sexuality through education, media representation, and social support.

Some ways to promote body positivity and healthy sexuality include:

  • Encouraging self-love and acceptance of one's body, regardless of its shape or size.
  • Challenging unrealistic beauty standards and promoting diverse representations of bodies in media and advertising.
  • Educating people about safe and consensual sex, and promoting open communication and respect in sexual relationships.
  • Providing resources and support for people who have experienced body shaming or sexual violence.

The Challenge

Body positivity and healthy sexuality are important aspects of overall well-being. By promoting self-love, respect, and open communication, we can create a more positive and inclusive society where everyone feels comfortable and confident in their own skin.

For those struggling with their body image and healthy sexuality, I challenge you to practice self-love and self-care every day for the next week. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Write down three things you love about your body every day. Focus on the things that make you unique and special.
  2. Take a break from social media for a day or two. Instead, spend that time doing something that makes you feel good about yourself, like going for a walk or reading a book.
  3. Practice mindfulness meditation. This can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and learn to accept them without judgment.
  4. Try a new form of exercise that you enjoy. This can help you feel more connected to your body and improve your overall health.
  5. Have an open and honest conversation with a trusted friend or partner about your body image and sexual health. This can help you feel more supported and less alone.

Remember, self-love and self-care are ongoing practices that require patience and commitment. By taking small steps every day, you can start to build a healthier and more positive relationship with your body and sexuality.

Let me know how it goes in the comments!

Until Next Time,

~ Nijeria J. 

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